Social media is crippling us

Written and published in June 2017

The internet can be a beautiful thing. It can bring you information, connect you with old pals, and help you network with people from all over the world. However, there are also many dark sides of the internet that need to discussed. I ask myself daily, is social media bringing me more harm than good?

I'm just gonna give you a big heads up and let you know something. SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL. Ya hear me? SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL!

Social media is fake and I'm not just talking about the filters. Every single thing we publish has been premeditated, provoked or forced. We all post to project a "perfect" image to everyone clicks on our pages. We have become obsessed with a contrived world inside of a rectangle box. It's taking over lives, relationships, job opportunities and most importantly our grip with reality.

Yes, Claire may actually be having a bomb time with her girlfriends at bottomless mimosas brunch, but we also didn't see the 45 other photos she deleted. Does Claire EVER have a bad picture, bad lighting or a BAD DAY?!

Claire's life is so effing perfect!!! We hate people like Claire.

What we don't know is Claire is battling depression. She has developed an unhealthy insecurity over comparing herself to others. Claire has an app that changes her face and body into whatever form is deemed "attractive" to other people's standards. So while we sit here judging and comparing ourselves to her, she is praying and hoping we won't. We are all guilty of being internet trolls, if we comment publicly or not. We are able to insult other people, anonymously, and lash out on people we haven't even met. We indulge in our own securities and mask it by putting down others.

We have all accepted that looking like a human is just plainly, NOT acceptable. Long gone are the days that any human cellulite, wrinkles, muffin top or GOD FORBID a pimple. We now have apps that widen our eyes, reshape our torsos, add eyeliner and give ourselves a brand new face.

AND WE DON'T EVEN BLINK WHILE DOING IT.

I've lost jobs before because I didn't have enough of a social media "presence." When I was in college a Bachelor's degree in Social Media wasn't an option. My education, resume, interpersonal skills and job history has been completely overlooked due to the fact that my Insta was not #aesthic enough. People are spending hundreds of dollars on followers, who AREN'T EVEN REAL. They are robots.

HOW ARE ROBOTS FOLLOWERS GOING TO HELP ME IN COMMISSION SALES, ROBERT?

Traveling has become such an influence on Social Media. We can now explore areas of the world by geotagging. The only problem is the person it hurts the most if the person who is traveling. Someone will go to the top of the Eiffel tower, and instead of looking at the view, they will take 20 minutes to take pictures of themselves and go back down. They spend the majority of it making a live social media story to show everyone else how cool the view is. They robbed themselves of an opportunity. Romance is also dying at a rapid pace. There are several apps that glorify "hooking up" as the main goal. We now have a catalog of men and women accessible at our fingertips and can fill up a roster of 30 consecutive dates! One date per each night. Maybe two if I'm lucky!!!

It's not just dating, even stable, happy relationships are suffering majorly. Couples feel the need to "keep up" with societal norms by posting pictures of themselves at lavish dinners, hiking hot spots, traveling to Europe or doing something more than cuddling up to Netflix.

Any relationship flaw or insecurity you have is exacerbated by social media. If you wake up without a morning text from your S.O. and they happen to be active on on Whatsapp an hour before, your whole day is now ruined. This is the most hurtful kiss of death in a relationship.

We are always reminded that we aren't a priority. That distractions exist. They would rather be doing that than responding to you.... and that rejection can feel colossal.

When are we going to realize how unhealthy our obsession with technology is? Enough is enough. I've seen a lot of my friends in happy stable relationships slip off the deep end with planning their weddings and stressing over a hashtag, their babies living up to the standards of "cute" on the internet, their relationships being perfectly packaged in a bow and then making us all wonder WTF happened when it ends in divorce. You sold us on that picture perfect romance, we traveled with you on the Facebook honeymoon journey and now you're not gonna tell us why it ended? I just paid $11.50 for popcorn, bro.

People only want us to see their happy moments, but at what cost?

Is a Facebook comment going to rush to your side to comfort you after you've had a bad day?

Is an Instagram like going to kiss you goodnight and rub your back to sleep?

Is an email going to make you dinner and nourish your body?

When you're 90 years old and your life is ending, will you mutter out the words, 'I wish I had just one more follower!"

No. You are going to wish you spent REAL time, with REAL people, in REAL LIFE.

Nothing else matters!

Real life is happening, guys. Right now. And I hope you're not losing people, quality people, who love you and support you. You may regret it the rest of your life.

We all need technology interventions!

The sad thing is, I'm writing this. To post online, in hopes you will read it....to be magically cured. Put the phones away. Let's make a better effort to try to connect with people IN REAL LIFE (IRL) Don't waste another minute online today, unless its sharing this article with someone who needs it...

:)

Love you,

xo

Steffi, your Spirit Sis